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One of the biggest light bulb moments I've ever had in my life was when I learned that I get to decide what it means to be a successful parent. I spent a lot of time trying my best to make my kids do and be the things I thought would prove that I was a good parent.

In all actuality I have no control over "how my kid turn out."

Yes, of coarse I have influence, but ultimately, my kids are going to chose for themselves who they want to be.

Putting the pressure of what it means to be a good mom on who my kids become, rather to focus on how I show up as their mother, takes away all my control and can cause unnecessary pain and suffering when things "don't go as planned"

As humans we all have agency to do and think what we want. And if I'm needing my kids to get good grades to feel like I'm doing a good job, then I'm not showing up as the best parent for them. I'm in charge of how I feel, and so are they.

Success is a thought. There isn't some measuring stick in the world, that you can follow to determine whether you are a success or not. Your success is only measurable by you.

So if I get to decide what it means to be successful as a parent, and the choices my kids make don't mean I did a good job or not, then what do I use to define a successful?

It's simple really, that I provide for my children's basic needs, I show and tell them I love them often, I teach them of my love for my Savior Jesus Christ. That's it. Let me elaborate a bit.

  • Providing basic needs for my kids is a requirement, house, food, clothing, anything above and beyond that, I'm just doing for fun! (Oh and you bet I do, just ask my spoiled last kid at home)

  • Showing and telling my kids I love them is also something only I can define. I cannot make myriad feel loved. I can only do what I believe to be loving acts and the rest is up to them.

  • I have a testimony of Jesus Christ and I believe that it is my job to help my kids find their way to Him as well, but I cannot control what they think or believe, but I can tall them often how I believe and maybe that will help they desire a relationship with Him as well.

There it is, that's it. My definition of what it means to be a successful mom. I don't need my kids to go to college, or even to like me. I know that if I take care of this small list, I can rest at ease that I am a good mom.

Ironically when I let go of needing my kids to be/act/do a certain way, and I just showed up in love and encouragement we gained a deeper love and mutual respect we didn't have when I was trying to control who they were so I could feel like I was a good mom.

So now that I've given this information, what will you decide it means to BE SUCCESSFUL?

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